this one in particular - creative dating, copyright 1986, by Doug Fields and Todd Temple, is hilarious... i bought it several months ago, but any time it's opened, it still generates much laughter... especially when shared with friends who laugh at almost anything...
fields and temple give some great ideas on the subject of dating, whether it is the approach, or the actual date, or gifts for that special someone or how to write notes to him/her.
my favorite section of the book (i think... but it's hard to say that any one part is better than another) is the "kiss avoidance procedures" section...
Kiss Avoidance Procedures
Kissing is incredible - when experienced with the right person. In case you do not happen to be with that person when about to be kissed, try one of these tactics:
what to say
- my lips are really sunburned
- i'm feeling sick all of a sudden
- i just had my braces tightened
- the last time i kissed, i bit my partner's lips off
- have you ever met my boyfriend? he is the bouncer at jake's dance hall.
- i am a pilgrim (puritan)
- these really are not my lips
- i have mononucleosis
- my parents are watching
- it's amazing how i can still taste the anchovy pizza i ate three hours ago
what to do
- give yourself a nosebleed
- clear your throat
- stick a plug of chewing tobacco in your mouth
- blow a chewing gum bubble in the other person's face
- have a runny nose
- put garlic in your mouth and cough
- flip your retainer or dentures in and out of your mouth
- put on a plastic nose and glasses
- put pepperoni in your teeth
saying goodnight at the doorstep
- tell a story that wears the person down so he or she will want to leave
- accidentally lean up against the door bell causing your parents or roommates to answer the door
- wear his jacket so he will get cold waiting at the door
- let your dog out and give it a big slobbery kiss.
i hope you enjoyed the tutorial on how to avoid the kiss... it continues to make me laugh... who carries around chewing tobacco, just in case... and i can think of ways these are funnier - saying "i just had my braces tightened" for someone who doesn't wear braces... perfect... and what if the guy is the one to say, "have you met my boyfriend?" - wow...
i haven't completely figured out how serious the authors are being... and since it was written in 1986, and by two youth guys - i'm sure it's not really supposed to be THAT serious... but it is pretty much hilarious to me now... i did a search earlier, and evidentally, there is a second installment. i bought it on amazon.com for .02... seriously... i can't wait... i ordered a couple of other books, too, which i am hoping will provide endless entertainment for sad people like me!
so enjoy... there may be more installments of "creative dating" - when i get my laptop hooked up to the internet, there will be more fun - and that's a promise!!!
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1 comment:
that's awesome. i want to read it. haha. sounds hillarious.
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